thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
