Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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