How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
