I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
