Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
