He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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