Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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