i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
