I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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