Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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