Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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