She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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