After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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