none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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