Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
