I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
