why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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