Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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