I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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