i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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