4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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