Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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