of course. lets lasso hookers.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
