can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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