I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
