im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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