apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
