we have officially lost it.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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