Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
