xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
