Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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