dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
