why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
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I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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