like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
