Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
