I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
