at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
