Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
