She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
