No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
