The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
