Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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