Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
