So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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