I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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