hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
