Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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