I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
