are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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