We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize