My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
