Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
