OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize