eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
