and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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