the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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