Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
