All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
...so i touched it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
