margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
