we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Is Oprah even human
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
