WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize