It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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