bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
